On Polls

I don't think polls used to be so bad. But now I'm pretty sure they are like Jerry Seinfeld in the episode where Kathy Griffin has her one woman show i.e. the devil. Nobody knows if any of these polls are real on CNN, ESPN, Fox, Bravo, TLC, whatever. Plus everybody polls everything now. Politicians and their minions poll people on the candidates' wardrobes. You can poll a Division III hockey game on your cell phone right now if you wanted to from anywhere in the country. What do people in Hawaii know about Division III hockey? Besides the fact that it is not for them. I can even vote in polls from my Nintendo Wii. Asinine. So in the spirit of poll bashing I've started my own poll on the left side of the page. My attempt is to poll foolishness at its finest, asininity abound, and all kinds of alliterative, important sounding words. Think of it as that section of Sports Illustrated, Sign of the Apocalypse. Poll on.

On SportsCenter...and more!

Type those stories, type those stories, check those sources, check those sources... That Richard Simmons is a silly bitch. Best SC commercial in the last year, no contest. In related news, I was watching Inside the Actors Studio (with host James Lipton) and John Cusack was the guest. When Jimmy (that's what all the actors call James Lipton so I thought I'd try it out) asked Cusack, What noise or sound do you love?, Cusack said the SportsCenter theme because he knows good things are ahead. I've probably seen dozens of episodes of ITAS and I've decided this is one of the best answers to any of those questions Jimmy asks his guest. Definitely the best answer to the sound/noise question. Guys have the SC theme as their ring tones, their IM noises, ESPN has even made a commercial about how much people love that song, I think. So, yeah, SportsCenter rules, Cusack rules (even though he's a Cubs fan), and.....I'm out. Happy Birthday PJ........GO TITANS!

On The Year of the Rat

Happy New Year. I've never promised myself to get in shape or eat better on New Year's (though maybe I should). Seems to me the holidays are stressful enough without putting all that added pressure on yourself. Plus in another ten or fifteen years I'll be nearing the mid-life crisis stage of my life and with my birthday (January 3rd) being so close to New Year's I could be asking for a world of pain. A world of pain. But I am starting to think that my somewhat Bohemian way of thinking regarding resolutions (that they are for sayers and not doers) and promises (again, just do it, don't promise yourself to do it) is somewhat an immature mode of thought. But my life long passion for procrastination is the penny in the light socket to this epiphany. The down time that coexists with the holidays allows for musings on the future and tiny deals you make with yourself about exercising and skipping dessert. Once the Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Year's hangover wears off all that stuff gets lost in the SSDD of normal life. Anyway, I got to go iron some stuff.

On Dog Shenanigans

No, all these presents are not for Kirk. But I did think this pic would be a good way to introduce the little hooligan who occupies a good portion of my life. Walks every morning, food, bathroom breaks, and the endless amount of paraphernalia that entertains him throughout the day. I think I could start a crystal meth lab and need fewer accessories. Kirk had a good Christmas. He got to sniff everybody's presents and all the wrapping paper, and he got a new bone, and it was pretty much stimulation galore. The good news is that the Christmas Tree was essentially unmolested, unlike last year when he was small enough to fit underneath it. I'll have to introduce my other dog in a separate post, since she is equally asinine and fills a whole picture by herself. I just felt the need to expose the internet to Kirk beyond my Facebook page as he lies on the couch next to me wrapped in his own special blanket, snoring slightly, and always threatening to release an SBD. You know you're jealous. P.S. Go Titans.

On Animal Attacks

I don't understand why everybody is an animal conservationist until that particular animal starts attacking people. "Tatiana" the tiger was in the San Francisco Zoo for the sole purpose of mating with a male Siberian Tiger. That way the zoo makes more money when they have a shiny new tiger cub to show off. But it looks like it was strike-three-you're-out for Tatiana. And now all the news articles quote little factoids about how there are more than 600 of these Siberian tigers in the wilds. Like there are too many of them now. I guess that's natural selection. Make zoo's money and you live.

On Baseball and Writer's Strike

The Mitchell report came out about three and a half hours ago and my mind is already overwhelmed with others opinions so I figured I should get my opinion down before it gets lost in some mass media black hole. It comes down to this: why enlist somebody like this Senator Mitchell to investigate what comes down to the competitive integrity of your sport if you're going to basically take the dirty laundry he found and ignore his instructions on what to do with it? Bud Selig's reaction was to say "Thanks for all your hard work, George. I'll take these names and do what I see fit." Mitchell did something I've rarely seen any politician/public figure do. He said that baseball needs to take the high road, turn the other cheek, and move on. He said it would take months or even years to go investigate the named players one by one and that it would only hurt baseball to do so. So Selig gets behind a podium and states he is going to do exactly that. Asinine is a word I use a lot, as you'll probably see if I keep this blog thing going. But Bud Selig might have redefined the word today. Pay $60 million dollars to a very smart and well respected politician (not to mention lawyer) to tell you how to save your league from its worst scandal ever, but basically state ninety minutes later that you're going to go in another direction (i.e. your own private witch hunt). Call Webster's. Whew. Then there's the Writer's Strike in Hollywood. Not as sexy as steroids and reports and ESPN's 24 hour coverage. But it is another situation where an entertainment industry is being shaken up from the inside out. If anything comes out of this strike I hope it's that that standard for movies and television programs rises. Of course writers should get their share of money from iTunes downloads and all that other stuff, but the executives who write their paychecks should also take this opportunity to recognize all the crap they've been putting on the air. Rarely do I laugh at a sitcom the way I laugh at some of the stuff I see on YouTube or in forwarded emails. A friend of my wife's just sent us a video the other day that he made with notebook paper and his cell phone that was funnier than anything I saw on TV this week. And what's with these two or three month hiatuses in the middle of the season? If Nip/Tuck hadn't started in October I wouldn't have a single show to watch for the next month. This happens every year when the writers aren't on strike. There are too many people that I know personally that could write/perform entertaining television, let alone all the people I don't know, for me to be watching reruns of Everybody Loves Raymond every weeknight and seeing the SAME commercials over and over. (Sidenote: I just watched an ad for the Honda Ridgeline. I need me one of those lightsaber turkey cutter things.)