Jumping ship!

Blogging is too hard, too taxing, and too time consuming. Short haiku from my cell phone is much easier. See https://twitter.com/Zasaed for details.

Two political blog posts in a row? Weezer! (As in, Say It Ain't So)

I'm fairly certain that presidential candidates should have to pick their running mates from the opposite party. The two party system isn't going anywhere (sorry closet Whigs), but that doesn't mean we can't mix things up a bit. We would achieve much more as a country with a Democratic president and a Republican vice president, or vice versa. And if nothing else it would make politics a lot more fun to watch on TV, like Rock of Love or Flavor of Love, except everyone keeps their clothes on.

Let's use some resources!

mav·er·ick /ˈmævərɪk, ˈmævrɪk/ [mav-er-ik, mav-rik] –noun 1. Southwestern U.S. an unbranded calf, cow, or steer, esp. an unbranded calf that is separated from its mother. 2. a lone dissenter, as an intellectual, an artist, or a politician, who takes an independent stand apart from his or her associates. 3. (initial capital letter) an electro-optically guided U.S. air-to-ground tactical missile for destroying tanks and other hardened targets at ranges up to 15 mi. (24 km). [Origin: 1865–70, Americanism; after Samuel A. Maverick (1803–70), Texas pioneer who left his calves unbranded] —Synonyms 2. nonconformist, independent, loner.

I assume that nobody would refer to themselves as being No. 1 or No. 3 which only leaves No. 2, but, honestly, where in that definition does it refer to 72 year old POW's whose voting record is the same as Bush's 95% of the time? And doesn't referring to yourself as a maverick ad nauseum kind of diminish your maverick-ness? And I am sorry, but Palin is no Goose.

Best. Picture. Ever.

I don't consider myself very talented when it comes to taking pictures, especially with our newest digital camera which pretty much does all the work for us. But no one can deny the bad ass-ness of this picture. I have no idea what kind of bird it is but between its blue feathers, the light, and the foolish pose this pic moves to the top of my very meager Awesome Pictures List. Also shown are a few other pics from said "list" I just conjured up.

...No blogs for months because I was a POW during the writer's strike...

...and this is my first post from inside a Hollywood prison where every other inmate is either a guy dressed like a girl, a girl dressed like a guy, or a homeless person with nicer hair than me. Anyway, prison has embittered me even more, so the following is a list of people/things that would do best to avoid me if they see me coming their way with a baseball bat. 1. Fair-weather dog walkers -It's Sunday morning and the sun is shining and the birds are chirping and everyone is outside "water skiing" behind their dogs. I'm sure your dog enjoys its freedom after enduring an entire winter of captivity, but frankly you insult me. Purchase some long underwear and some boots and man-up. 2. HDTV's and their owners. -Mostly because I don't yet have one, but honestly it's like comparing cars, they're just meant to get you from A to B and the TV isn't showing you anything new, you're still watching reruns of Home Improvement for crying out loud. 3. Looser standards for stand-up comedians. -Thanks to a farm system more vigorous than baseball's it used to be if I'd heard of you, you must be funny. Now thanks to Last Comic Standing, the internet, and the Bob and Tom Show every comedian from Terra Haute to Poughkeepsie thinks he is the next Ray Romano or Drew Carey. 4. Sequels filmed more than five years after their predecessors. -If there is a Ghostbusters 3 I will burn all of Southern California to the ground.

On the Super Bowl and NFL 2008 Schedule

It's been a while since I have posted, but I've been waiting for a particularly juicy topic and now I've got one. Grab your bibs. Bill "I dress like a hobo" Belichick gets away with a bunch of crap no other coach, let alone a player, would ever get away with doing. The stupid sweatshirts are one thing when you're in Foxborough, in the winter, and it's cold out. But you're in Arizona, in a dome, and there are coaches (Mike Nolan, Jack Del Rio) who have been fined for wearing a tie and jacket during games, but Belichick gets to wear a bright red hoodie with the sleeves cut off and receives no fine and no flak from the media about it? And he is just rubbing it in people's faces when he walks off the field before the final play is run. I don't care if he hugged Coughlin, and I don't care if the game is over, the coach is not supposed to be a sore loser and he's not supposed to be the story. Everyone on ESPN and sports radio says it's not a big deal, but when there isn't enough structure on your sideline to get the proper number of players on the field for the final play of the game, it's unprofessional. The greatest coach of all time has to have class and be an example to others, not a sore loser who doesn't like it on the other side of the fence. Which brings me to my next beef. The Patriots are already getting 5 to 2 odds to win the Super Bowl next year. Indy and Dallas are 8 to 1 and the Giants are 12 to 1. New England plays six teams that are 100 to 1 odds to win the Super Bowl. They play the AFC and the NFC West divisions, which are ALL cream puff teams except for San Diego and Seattle. Oh, by the way, if you didn't read the previous post, they get the seventh pick in the draft. So next year they will be sure to lose a game or two at the end of the year so that the bad taste stays in their mouth through the playoffs this time. With their seventh pick. And their .387 winning opponent's winning percentage.

On NFL Shenanigans

You know what pisses me off? The New England Patriots get the 7th pick in the 2008 Draft. RIDICULOUS! The end.